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21. Nov 05
11. Apr 06
17. Jul 09
Redcoat Holdouts Still Fighting American Revolutio...
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/redcoat_holdouts_still_...
GREAT BROOK FRARM STATE PARK, MA"'Tis has been a l...
22. Sep 09
28. Aug 09
Report: 70 Percent Of All Praise Sarcastic
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/report_70_percent_of_a...
Is that compliment real or not? A new report tells...
16. Jun 11
Members Of U.S. Women’s Soccer Team Love Each Ot...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/members-of-us-womens-soccer...
HARRISON, NJ—Following a 1-0 victory over Me...
Michele Bachmann Announces Bid To Be Discussed Mor...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/michele-bachmann-announces-...
Michele Bachmann Announces Bid To Be Discussed Mor...
17. Jun 11
Nine Drawn and Quartered at Renaissance Fair | The...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/nine-drawn-and-quartered-at...
RICHMOND, VA—Nine people were torn limb-from...
15. Jun 11
I Had Bedbugs
http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-had-bedbugs-but-theyre-al...
Hola, amigos. Whuddup? I know it's been a long tim...
13. Jun 11
Scientists Trap Antimatter For Record Time | The O...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/scientists-trap-antimatter-...
Scientists at CERN trapped atoms of antihydrogen f...
12. Jun 11
Circus Runaway Not Looking Forward To Hometown Sho...
http://www.theonion.com/audio/circus-runaway-not-looking-for...
Circus Runaway Not Looking Forward To Hometown Sho...
11. Jun 11
Bird Has Big Plans For New Cage | The Onion - Amer...
http://www.theonion.com/audio/bird-has-big-plans-for-new-cag...
Bird Has Big Plans For New Cage | The Onion - Amer...
Stripper Failing School She's Working Herself Thro...
http://www.theonion.com/audio/stripper-failing-school-shes-w...
Stripper Failing School She's Working Herself Thro...
23. Mar 11
Cover Author Working On Word-For-Word Remake Of 'M...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/cover-author-working-on-wor...
LOS ANGELES—Cover author Gerald Putty told r...
04. Apr 10
Rich Guy Feeling Left Out Of Recession | The Onion...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/rich-guy-feeling-left-out-o...
WILTON, CT—"It's just not fair," s...
Seeing Ken Griffey Jr. In Backwards Hat Now Just D...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/seeing-ken-griffey-jr-in-ba...
SEATTLE—Baseball fans across the nation admi...
Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die ...
http://www.theonion.com/video/scientists-successfully-teach-...
Tulane University researchers say Quigley is now a...
Redcoat Holdouts Still Fighting American Revolutio...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/redcoat-holdouts-still-figh...
GREAT BROOK FARM STATE PARK, MA—"'Tis has be...
05. Mar 11
Ifc High Fructose Corn Syrup Spill: Timeline Of A ...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/high-fructose-corn-syrup-sp...
It has now been 48 hours since an explosion ripped...
New iPhone Application Tracks Progress Of Deceased...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-iphone-application-trac...
CUPERTINO, CA—According to its description o...
Texas Immigration Bill Includes Domestic-Worker Lo...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/texas-immigration-bill-incl...
The Texas Legislature is considering a bill that w...
12. Mar 11
Child Makes Useless Gesture To Help Struggling Fam...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/child-makes-useless-gesture...
GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Having observed his parents...
17. Jun 11
Disgusted Supreme Court Can't Believe It Has To Ru...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/disgusted-supreme-court-can...
WASHINGTON—U.S. Supreme Court justices expre...
Disney Raises Theme Park Admission | The Onion - A...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/disney-raises-theme-park-ad...
The Walt Disney Company announced the cost of a on...
08. Dec 11
Forty-Five-Year-Old Fails To Make Someone Very Hap...
http://www.theonion.com/audio/fortyfiveyearold-fails-to-make...
Forty-Five-Year-Old Fails To Make Someone Very Hap...
18. Nov 11
Felons Have Increasing Access To Guns | The Onion ...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/felons-have-increasing-acce...
According to a study from The New York Times, the ...
15. Nov 11
Man To Sail Around World To Decrease Awareness Of ...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-to-sail-around-world-to...
ENCINITAS, CA—In a completely inconsequentia...
22. Sep 11
Reader Comprehension Quiz - Week Of September 05
http://www.theonion.com/articles/reader-comprehension-quiz-w...
Reader Comprehension Quiz - Week Of September 05, ...
21. Sep 11
We Need To Do More When It Comes To Having Brief
http://www.theonion.com/articles/we-need-to-do-more-when-it-...
The 20 hottest years on record have all taken plac...
18. Sep 11
Obama Will Not Preempt Football | The Onion - Amer...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-will-not-preempt-foot...
President Obama promised that Thursday's jobs addr...
17. Sep 11
Remembering 9/11 A Pleasure For Nation Compared To...
http://www.theonion.com/video/remembering-911-a-pleasure-for...
President Obama will earn $300,000 for stimulus pu...
Post Office Nearly Bankrupt | The Onion - America'...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/post-office-nearly-bankrupt...
With the U.S. Postal Service in danger of defaulti...
15. Sep 11
Crane Collapse Delays National Cathedral Repair | ...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/crane-collapse-delays-natio...
A 500-ton crane set up to repair earthquake damage...
01. Jul 11
Casual One-Nighter Gives Strom Thurmond Change Of ...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/casual-onenighter-gives-str...
WASHINGTON, DC—Thurmond described the homoer...
Midwest Peace Talks Shattered By Illinois Toll-Boo...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/midwest-peace-talks-shatter...
BELVIDERE, IL—Hopes for a Midwest peace acco...
29. Jun 11
Previous Pulitzer Winners: 'Feels So Hollow Knowin...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/previous-pulitzer-winners-f...
WASHINGTON—A consortium of Pulitzer Prize wi...
22. Jun 11
American Students Not Proficient In History | The ...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/american-students-not-profi...
The 2010 National Assessment of Educational Progre...
Pakistani Intelligence Announces Its Full Cooperat...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/pakistani-intelligence-anno...
ISLAMABAD—Pakistan's Inter-Services Intellig...
19. Jun 11
NASA Finds Evidence Of Humans On Moon | The Onion ...
http://www.theonion.com/audio/nasa-finds-evidence-of-humans-...
NASA Finds Evidence Of Humans On Moon | The Onion ...
18. Jun 11
New York Court: Lap Dances Not Tax-Exempt | The On...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-york-court-lap-dances-n...
Ruling that lap dances do not qualify for tax-exem...
Billionaires Demand More Federal Scrutiny | The On...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/billionaires-demand-more-fe...
WASHINGTON, DC—In impassioned testimony befo...
21. Dec 11
Toughness in Sports | The Onion - America's Finest...
http://www.theonion.com/articles/toughness-in-sports,18987/
Jay Cutler's supposed lack of toughness has people...
04. Apr 10
What The Hell
http://www.theonion.com/articles/aw-what-the-hell-heres-the-...
Twenty years ago, my colleagues and I envisioned a...
28. Aug 09
The Onion Predicted Joe The Plumber in 1993
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/48940
The Onion had a preposterous story about Roy the F...
27. Aug 09
Heartbroken Demolitions Expert Throws himself into...
http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/357_maharishis_mi...
A man with a failed love affair is blowing up with...
26. Aug 09
A-Rod Checks Beckett Monthly To See If Rookie Card...
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/a_rod_checks_bec...
On a recent visit to a local mall with his wife an...
25. Aug 09
Ex-Girlfriend Don't Want To Talk To You, New Boyfr...
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/ex_girlfriend_dont_want...
According to the latest information provided by th...
21. Aug 09
Time Traveler: Everyone In The Future Eats Dippin'...
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/time_traveler_everyone_...
"It seems the legends of 21st-century man's crude ...
NFL Fines Pacman Jones For Not Tucking Gun Into Pa...
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/nfl_fines_pacman...
NFL officials announced Wednesday that Dallas Cowb...