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Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die ...

http://www.theonion.com/video/scientists-successfu...

Tulane University researchers say Quigley is now able to experience the crippling fear of impending death previously only accessible to humans.

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Skeptic Pitied | The Onion

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27594

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Velveetas Stories. Warm Soups for Cool Fall Days (...

http://www.velveeta.exxl.pl/2009/09/warm-soups-for...

Fall and soup.  The perfect combination.  Now that the cool days of fall are here, it is time to bring out the soup pot!  After coming indoors from the

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What The Hell

http://www.theonion.com/articles/aw-what-the-hell-...

Twenty years ago, my colleagues and I envisioned a radical new product that would revolutionize the portable stereo market.

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Rich Guy Feeling Left Out Of Recession | The Onion...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/rich-guy-feeling-...

WILTON, CT—"It's just not fair," said the 49-year-old real estate developer and grandson of oil baron Duncan Chandler. "Everyone is worrying about an uncertain future and comin...

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Seeing Ken Griffey Jr. In Backwards Hat Now Just D...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/seeing-ken-griffe...

SEATTLE—Baseball fans across the nation admitted Monday that the sight of Ken Griffey Jr. in a backwards baseball cap—an iconic image that once filled fans with joy...

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Redcoat Holdouts Still Fighting American Revolutio...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/redcoat-holdouts-...

GREAT BROOK FARM STATE PARK, MA—"'Tis has been a long and bitter struggle with our foolhardy American cousins," said 2nd Lt. Henry Bertram of King George III's Royal British Army.

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Twitter / The Onion: Pirates Sign Guy Who Succe .....

http://twitter.com/TheOnion/statuses/17108017104

Pirates Sign Guy Who Successfully Jogged Across Street http://onion.com/beVT9q

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Twitter / The Onion: Magazine: The Nation's Pit .....

http://twitter.com/TheOnion/statuses/16466236923

Magazine: The Nation's Pitching Mounds: Are We Prepared If They Suddenly Erupt With Molten Lava? http://onion.com/8YEFr5

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Twitter / The Onion: Opinion: America Looks Lik .....

http://twitter.com/TheOnion/statuses/17732563703

Opinion: America Looks Like It Could Use Some Cheering Up http://onion.com/ai72dc

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